leftwithmybones | (no subject)

(no subject)

She'd kicked Jim out of the house an hour back to get ready and to fix up dinner. Hell, if McCoy's honest about the whole thing, she'd kicked him out solely so her nerves had a chance to calm the hell down. They're up and down and she knows what she wants to ask, knows that she wants this, but it's also not the first time she's done this and the last time she'd blurted it out. Hadn't gone over too well.

She'd found a blue dress about the same length as the uniforms, a few shades darker than that and she's pinned the hair up in a functional bun while dinner's cooking -- some steak since Jim likes it, proper greens, and a pie sitting in the oven with some ice cream in the freezer. It's not exactly a feast, but it'll do.

When McCoy's sure it's ready to go, she opens the front door and pokes her head out, pretty sure she'll find Jim. "Your banishment's over," she says, nerves fluttering as she looks him over and thinks about kids, thinks about his kids and how much she wants to talk about that with him. "Dinner's ready."

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"I'd've got you wine," says Jim, and if he wasn't wrapped around her finger before, he definitely is now, watching her savor a bite of red meat like that. "Give me a list next time, I'll get you anything you want."

Well, if that isn't a goddamn beautiful lead-in to the topic she wants to talk about, then McCoy's never heard one. She swallows, sets the cutlery down on the table, and neatens up the plate before she lifts her head and makes eye contact with Jim. "Okay, then," she says with a nod of her head. "Anything I want, huh? Well, then, Jim, I want a baby."

"Yeah," says Jim, dropping his eyes at once, his entire body tingling with the sudden shock. He could have seen this coming, maybe, if Bones had been a woman for longer, but it's only been a handful of hours, and fuck, he doesn't know what to do. He's been going along with everything as best he can for fear of doing permanent damage to Bones, but he has no idea how to navigate this.

"I want a baby, too," he says, honest. "Yours. But I'm not sure it's the right time, you know?"

She recoils backwards with the unexpected shock of Jim not immediately agreeing with her. Now, she's in aggressive mode, ready to argue her point. "Not the right goddamn time?" she echoes, pushing out of the chair and listening to the scrape it makes. "What the hell do you mean not the right time?" She pokes Jim in the shoulder, with every point she makes. "I've got a stable job, you do too. We're both Council members, I'm healthy and I'm not getting any younger. Damn it, Jim, if we don't do this soon..." she lets out a sharp huff of frustration. "It won't be my kid you're having. Shit, Jim," she growls. "When's the right time? When you vanish and you don't even remember getting married?"

"Fuck, no, no," syas Jim, running a hand through his hair, but Bones is still looming over him, all her wrath no less impressive for the smoother, softer face. "Bones, I'm always going to be yours, no matter how many times we have to get to that point, I told you."

Catching at her flailing hand, Jim tries to find the kindest way to break this. "If I had one wish, it wouldn't be the Enterprise. It'd be a kid that's you and me, that's all the legacy I need, okay? I'm just not sure tonight's the night."

She struggles to get her hand free, staring at Jim with accusation rife on her face. There's a few options right now. She could storm off and bury these issues under the weight of a bottle of alcohol and it's so damn tempting. The thing is that she's been married to Jim for months now and maybe some of his tactics are wearing off on her. There's no such thing as a no-win situation.

Rather than walk away, McCoy slides her fingers into Jim's hair and sinks down into a straddle, wrapping her thighs around his waist so Jim can pay attention to the fact that she's not wearing any underwear right now. "Tough fucking luck, Kirk."

Bones is looking at him like he just gutted her, and for all that Jim's never seen this face before today, he can't stand it. It's Bones, his Bones, and she's sinking down around his waist as sweet as anything.

"Bones," says Jim, a little breathless. "I'm just trying to - I love you, are you - " He swallows and wets his lips. "Are you commando under there?"

"Yeah, I am," she agrees, the words little more than a daring growl as she reaches down to unbuckle Jim out of his pants, holding his gaze in a challenge as she works him free, and there's a reason it has to be tonight -- had to be soon to start -- and that's because the calendars work out. "Give me one good damn real reason."

He has reasons, he thinks. So many reasons, but she's so beautiful, and he loves her as fiercely as he's ever loved anything, and it's all Jim can do to clutch at her narrow shoulders when she takes him in hand. "Bones," he exhales, pushing a hand into her short, soft hair, body leaning into hers despite his best efforts not to take advantage. "I just want to do right by you."

She's so goddamn confused by Jim today that it hurts. There's no big thing, but there are small things, small hints, strange looks that she gets when he thinks she's not looking and she thinks 'what the hell is going on?' and right now, she's worried why doing right by her doesn't involve fucking her. "Jim," she pleads, a broken little thing. "Right by me is our kid. Doing right by me means doing this. I want to start our family before it's too late."

"Bones," Jim sighs, and he doesn't think he'll forget that little sound she just made for as long as he lives. "Fuck." Pushing both hands into her hair now, Jim pulls back to look at her, urgency on his face. "Tell me you want this. Say it one more time, you really want this, right now, with me."

She cups his face in her hands and now that she's got him trapped like this, she kisses him like she's not going to get a chance to kiss him ever again, the desperation clawing down into her throat. "Jim Kirk-McCoy," she begs, pleads, demands it with a growl. "I want to have your kid, okay? How much more are you gonna make me beg for this? I want it, I wanted it a month after we got married, I wanted it when you got elected to Council the first time around, and hell, did I want it when we were in my head and you lay in bed with JoJo and me."

"You make great kids, Bones," Jim breathes, and then he can't talk for kissing her. She feels so good against him, so right like only Bones ever truly has, and now that he's begun to let himself Jim can hardly get enough. Pulling her closer, Jim kisses her like he's dying for it, all his doubts falling away with the hitch of her chest moving against his. "Fuck, Bones, you don't know how much I want that."

She wraps her legs tighter around Jim so she can't fall, breathing in sharply when he starts kissing her and that's the minute she knows she's won this battle. "I want it too," she repeats again and again, like a mantra. "Your baby blue eyes, smart as a whip, but my sense," she mumbles in between kisses. "McCoy children are too damn smart to walk into losing battles like Kirk kids do."

"Don't believe in no-wins," Jim murmurs, though a distant part of him is aware that that's exactly what this will prove to be, should Bones become a man again. But Bones isn't now, smooth and soft and so sweet against him, and Jim stands up, an arm tucked beneath her ass to bring Bones with him.

"Dinner was great," he says, "Bed now."

She wraps her arms around his neck, grinning smugly because she's getting what she wants and that's been the plan the whole night. "Definitely bed, now," she agrees, laying another kiss on Jim's lips, though this one is sweeter and more cautious. "Me on top? Or do you want the visceral satisfaction of being on top tonight, darlin'?"

"Both?" Jim asks, because a decision like that would be impossible for anyone. He wants to see her, and claim her, some primal part of him responding to the soft breasts pressed against his chest as he walks down the short hall. "Fuck, Bones, I want everything."

She adjusts until her posture's straight as anything, sitting up in Jim's arms before sinking down into the hold he has on her, bowing over his head and letting hair fall into her eyes. "You remember that tape? The one that got us together and you talked about me in the shower? I touched myself, thinking about you," she tells him, sucking a kiss against his neck. "Used the shower nozzle and my fingers and pretended it was you and then tried to forget about it because hell, Jim, I was an old divorcee then."

It's a variation on a tale Jim knows, and it almost makes his knees buckle. "You were gorgeous," he counters, "Getting more gorgeous every day, Bones." He's barely lowered her to the bed before he's following her down, covering her newly smaller body with his own. "Fuck, stop wearing clothes."

"I'm getting older every day," she snorts, but there's the faintest grin on her lips that says that McCoy's actually listening to what Jim says and appreciates it -- even believes it. "You want me to stop wearing clothes, you should do something about it, Jimmy," she lightly comments.

It takes a lot to overwhelm Jim, but he feels it in that moment, staring down at her face, familiar and new at the same time. She's so soft and warm beneath him, and when Jim reaches, it's not to lift her skirt. He pulls out the pin holding what remains of her bun, combing her hair gently out with his fingers.

"You are," he says again, leaning down to kiss her. "You're the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen."

McCoy swears it was never like this with Joe. There hadn't been the warmth that Jim makes her feel and he'd never made her blush like Jim could with something as simple as a phrase like that. Her cheeks are flushed and she turns her head to the side as if she can hide away the fondness and the overwhelming affection brimming in her eyes.

With a returned kiss, she tries to ease up off the bed, tries to coax his hands somewhere else (the hem of her skirt, in this case). "Keep talking like that and I'm going skinny-dipping in the morning."

"As long as you give me the night to recover," Jim laughs, and damn if his hands aren't shaking a little as she guides him, fingers closing around the hem of her skirt. Jim pulls it up slowly, eyes drinking in every inch of leg revealed, and he's so caught up in the soft skin of her inner thighs that it nearly stops his heart to look up and find she's not wearing underwear.

"Might need more than one night to recover," he exhales, and then Jim can't do anything but bury his face between her legs.

She can't help the smug smirk that comes when Jim makes his little discovery. It's a stupid little thing to be proud of, but she is, anyway. "You can have two whole nights," she drawls and lets her head fall back against the pillows at the soft brush of Jim's lips against her thighs. She slides both hands up above her head, twining and gripping onto the headboard as a dazed and giddy smile crosses her lips. "I'd complain about that not being how babies are made, but your talented tongue shouldn't be dissuaded."

"Let me have this," comes Jim's muffled voice from between her thighs. It's been ages since he tasted a woman, made her scream and shudder against his tongue, and he hadn't realized how much he missed it until he had it again.

"Bones," Jim groans, humming with his first taste of her. "Fuck, pull my hair."