leftwithmybones | (no subject)

(no subject)

She'd kicked Jim out of the house an hour back to get ready and to fix up dinner. Hell, if McCoy's honest about the whole thing, she'd kicked him out solely so her nerves had a chance to calm the hell down. They're up and down and she knows what she wants to ask, knows that she wants this, but it's also not the first time she's done this and the last time she'd blurted it out. Hadn't gone over too well.

She'd found a blue dress about the same length as the uniforms, a few shades darker than that and she's pinned the hair up in a functional bun while dinner's cooking -- some steak since Jim likes it, proper greens, and a pie sitting in the oven with some ice cream in the freezer. It's not exactly a feast, but it'll do.

When McCoy's sure it's ready to go, she opens the front door and pokes her head out, pretty sure she'll find Jim. "Your banishment's over," she says, nerves fluttering as she looks him over and thinks about kids, thinks about his kids and how much she wants to talk about that with him. "Dinner's ready."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Jim smooths down the front of his buttondown and tries to smile, mouth dry as he looks at her. He's thought Bones was beautiful more than once, but this is different, all her lines softer, her legs longer beneath one hell of a skirt, and Jim's always been protective but it never felt quite like this.

"What about you?" he asks, coming forward to take her hand. "You ready for me?"

She tugs him backwards into the house, a cunning grin on her lips as she gestures to the table waiting for them. "I'm never ready for you, Jim, you're a damn cannonball hurtling into my life," she bitches, but McCoy's always damn happy for that destruction. She just doesn't need him to know that. "C'mon. Eat up and drink. I stole a bottle of the good stuff for us."

"You got all kinds of good stuff for us," says Jim, eyebrows climbing as he gets a look at the table. He doesn't take his seat yet, though, pulling out hers instead. "After you."

"Yeah, it's an occasion. Or something," says McCoy as she takes the chair Jim holds out for her, still too distracted to give him shit about the fact that he's treating her like a damn damsel. She leans over to pour herself a full drink, then thinks better of it.

Shit.

Right. She passes that drink over to Jim, realizing she'd better start treating her body like a damn temple if she wants to knock it up. "Sit down, Jim, don't make me nervous."

She does look nervous, which makes Jim even more nervous, which makes him drink a little too deeply from the offered glass. Coughing a little around the swallow, he sits, but nerves aren't nearly enough to quell his appetite when the smell of steak hits him. "This looks amazing, Bones," he says. "Seriously. Steak?"

"Don't get too excited, it might still be shitty," she says, staring at the plates in front of them. It's easier to focus on the meal at hand than the talk that's coming after. "It's round three of the replicating serum using boar steak as a control," she explains. "If it's good, I'll keep replicating it. If it's bad, then back to the drawing board."

She pours herself a glass of water, scowls when it isn't like the scotch she wants, and fixes plates for the both of them. And, because it's always been proven to calm her down, she leans over the table to grab Jim by the shirt and haul him into a kiss. "Missed you."

It's just what Bones would say on any other day, and Jim relaxes a little more, leaning on instinct into the kiss. "Yeah," he says, soft, "I missed you, too, Bones."

But then he leans back and sees her glass. "Bones? Why are you drinking water when there's scotch?"

She gives a light growl that's more frustration than anything else, because of course Jim Kirk's going for that when she wanted to have a nice dinner first. "Can't we eat in goddamn peace first?" she mutters, but the question's a good one and it's not like he's said yes yet, so maybe she's allowed some scotch, anyway.

She pours some into the water, even though it's gonna dilute the thing by far. "I got all dressed up for you, don't ruin it by jumping to the conversation before the meal."

Bones always takes it neat, never with more water than scotch, but Jim is willing to chalk it up to certain...physiological differences today. "You're extra bossy today, you know that?" he says, picking up his fork with exaggerated obedience. Did I always find that hot or did you condition me?"

She wishes she could smirk with the superior knowledge that he absolutely finds it hot, but it's not true. "Doubt it," she snorts. "Seeing as if I did, you would've jumped me about two weeks into the Academy when I started bitching at you for all the space infections you were bound to pick up," she says, drinking back most of the glass in one go and when she repours, there isn't as much water this time.

No guarantee means no reason to start planning ahead yet, it all she figures.

"I was still scared of you then," says Jim with a grin. "Hell, I'm scared of you now, but like I said. Conditioned." Settling in, Jim cuts into his steak, salivating a little when it smells every bit as good as the real thing. "I think you finally cracked it, babe."

"What, getting you to have sex with me or the steak?" she deadpans, grinning as she gives him a hopeful look over the table. "Shit, really?" she lets out a relieved laugh. "I did it? It's done? Hell, I'm on a roll, then. Steak's finished, dinner's cooked, and I'm kicking one more thing off the list when this is done."

"Seriously," says Jim, chewing that first bite. He cuts another and holds it out on a fork for her. "It's amazing. You're fucking amazing, Bones, I am going to get so fat when my metabolism finally slows down. I want this every day for the rest of my life."

Swallowing, Jim grins. "What are you kicking off the list?"

"You're going to be so fat," she agrees and leans over the table to bite the steak off the fork, slowly, slowly wiggling it off with her teeth before chewing it thoughtfully and arching a brow when it isn't half bad. "Well, hell, look at that," she says, cutting up her own steak and deliberately ignoring his question.

Not until they've eaten; that's the rule. "Wish I had good red wine to go with this," she sighs, crossing her legs smoothly and focusing on the dinner.

"I'd've got you wine," says Jim, and if he wasn't wrapped around her finger before, he definitely is now, watching her savor a bite of red meat like that. "Give me a list next time, I'll get you anything you want."

Well, if that isn't a goddamn beautiful lead-in to the topic she wants to talk about, then McCoy's never heard one. She swallows, sets the cutlery down on the table, and neatens up the plate before she lifts her head and makes eye contact with Jim. "Okay, then," she says with a nod of her head. "Anything I want, huh? Well, then, Jim, I want a baby."

"Yeah," says Jim, dropping his eyes at once, his entire body tingling with the sudden shock. He could have seen this coming, maybe, if Bones had been a woman for longer, but it's only been a handful of hours, and fuck, he doesn't know what to do. He's been going along with everything as best he can for fear of doing permanent damage to Bones, but he has no idea how to navigate this.

"I want a baby, too," he says, honest. "Yours. But I'm not sure it's the right time, you know?"

She recoils backwards with the unexpected shock of Jim not immediately agreeing with her. Now, she's in aggressive mode, ready to argue her point. "Not the right goddamn time?" she echoes, pushing out of the chair and listening to the scrape it makes. "What the hell do you mean not the right time?" She pokes Jim in the shoulder, with every point she makes. "I've got a stable job, you do too. We're both Council members, I'm healthy and I'm not getting any younger. Damn it, Jim, if we don't do this soon..." she lets out a sharp huff of frustration. "It won't be my kid you're having. Shit, Jim," she growls. "When's the right time? When you vanish and you don't even remember getting married?"

"Fuck, no, no," syas Jim, running a hand through his hair, but Bones is still looming over him, all her wrath no less impressive for the smoother, softer face. "Bones, I'm always going to be yours, no matter how many times we have to get to that point, I told you."

Catching at her flailing hand, Jim tries to find the kindest way to break this. "If I had one wish, it wouldn't be the Enterprise. It'd be a kid that's you and me, that's all the legacy I need, okay? I'm just not sure tonight's the night."

She struggles to get her hand free, staring at Jim with accusation rife on her face. There's a few options right now. She could storm off and bury these issues under the weight of a bottle of alcohol and it's so damn tempting. The thing is that she's been married to Jim for months now and maybe some of his tactics are wearing off on her. There's no such thing as a no-win situation.

Rather than walk away, McCoy slides her fingers into Jim's hair and sinks down into a straddle, wrapping her thighs around his waist so Jim can pay attention to the fact that she's not wearing any underwear right now. "Tough fucking luck, Kirk."

Bones is looking at him like he just gutted her, and for all that Jim's never seen this face before today, he can't stand it. It's Bones, his Bones, and she's sinking down around his waist as sweet as anything.

"Bones," says Jim, a little breathless. "I'm just trying to - I love you, are you - " He swallows and wets his lips. "Are you commando under there?"

"Yeah, I am," she agrees, the words little more than a daring growl as she reaches down to unbuckle Jim out of his pants, holding his gaze in a challenge as she works him free, and there's a reason it has to be tonight -- had to be soon to start -- and that's because the calendars work out. "Give me one good damn real reason."

He has reasons, he thinks. So many reasons, but she's so beautiful, and he loves her as fiercely as he's ever loved anything, and it's all Jim can do to clutch at her narrow shoulders when she takes him in hand. "Bones," he exhales, pushing a hand into her short, soft hair, body leaning into hers despite his best efforts not to take advantage. "I just want to do right by you."

She's so goddamn confused by Jim today that it hurts. There's no big thing, but there are small things, small hints, strange looks that she gets when he thinks she's not looking and she thinks 'what the hell is going on?' and right now, she's worried why doing right by her doesn't involve fucking her. "Jim," she pleads, a broken little thing. "Right by me is our kid. Doing right by me means doing this. I want to start our family before it's too late."

"Bones," Jim sighs, and he doesn't think he'll forget that little sound she just made for as long as he lives. "Fuck." Pushing both hands into her hair now, Jim pulls back to look at her, urgency on his face. "Tell me you want this. Say it one more time, you really want this, right now, with me."