Dated July 4th

[leftwithmybones]

The truth is, the last week has been one of the roughest that McCoy's ever had to deal with. He's been worried about Jason and Bucky in the Clinic for one, not to mention the part where Jim not only forgot everything, but has started to get a slideshow of the bad shit he's dealt with during his time. It's probably a slideshow of horrors in his head. He thinks he ought to be forgiven for the way he's thrown himself into work, trying his best not to think about Jim.

Still, he's not completely himself. His jeans and polo shirt are wrinkled and he hasn't bothered with the lab coat, strewing it over the nearest desk. His eyes are tired and every sample he looks at strains him to the point of exhaustion. He'd contemplate giving up, but then he'd have to head back home and wonder what new terror Jim's going to remember today.

He really doesn't want to do that.

So he works. He works because it's the best alternative, right now.

Comments

[chasedthestars]

"It is wrong," Jim says with a shake of his head, "It feels wrong. It's supposed to be you, I knew that much before I could even remember my own name."

He watches Bones, watches his face go distant, sees longing in his eyes, and Jim is glad he's already sitting. "Do you really want this?" he asks, quiet. "You and me? You didn't tell me about us, or this, if...if I never started getting my memories back, would you have just let it all go?" He swallows. "Let me go, and found somebody else?"

[leftwithmybones]

"You're always, always going to be my best friend," McCoy wants Jim to know, even if that seems like it falters by the day depending on his mood. "And yeah, Jim, I really want this. Forgive me for thinking that free will ought to be a consideration," he snarls, not feeling particularly polite about any of this. "And no, if you weren't remembering, if time passed and you still didn't remember, I'd figure out how to make it work. But I needed to give you the chance to pull it back yourself otherwise I'd feel worse than the grime on someone's foot."

[chasedthestars]

Jim watches him as closely as he can, and by the end, feels something loosen in his chest. Bones won't kiss him, but he will, he wants to, he's just waiting, and he's not giving up.

"M'sorry," Jim exhales, running a hand through his dirty hair. "It's just a lot. All of this is just. It's a lot."

[leftwithmybones]

Cautiously, McCoy approaches, easing planted feet on either side of Jim as he drops into his lap, easing and sitting on his knees lightly. "Hey," he soothes, pressing a kiss to Jim's forehead as he winds his arms around Jim's neck for balance. "I know. Trust me, I know. We'll get through this. And when it all comes back, I'm hoping you'll thank me for waiting."

[chasedthestars]

Beneath Bones' sturdy weight, Jim feels another rush of boneless relief, and he curls forward, arms thrown around Bones' waist and eyes closed for that brief press of lips. "It'll come back," he says, because Bones needs it as much as Jim does, and that's more than enough reason. "All of me will come back, it will. And I don't want to be anybody else's husband or boyfriend or best friend or whatever. Memories or not, I know that much."

[leftwithmybones]

"I don't know, I think you'd make a fine husband for our cat," McCoy says wryly, wondering when Plum became theirs instead of just Jim's, given how little McCoy likes the damn thing. "You two have the same stupid sense of curiosity. And you shed about the same."

[chasedthestars]

Jim barks out a surprised laugh, content to close his eyes and just enjoy Bones' warmth. "I do not shed. I don't know about purring, though, I have a sneaking suspicion I just might."

[leftwithmybones]

"Admittedly, you do sometimes make these odd noises in your sleep," McCoy admits, given that he's had a lot of time to get used to him. "I guess I ought to just be grateful that you didn't talk about your former conquests while you slept. Talk about giving a man a complex."